My brother thinks my 3yr old daughter misbehaves too much!?

My brother thinks my 3yr old daughter misbehaves too much. He says I'm not hard enough on her discipline wise. I think she's pretty well behaved for her age. I give her time outs when she needs them (which is really hardly ever... no more than 3 times a week tops). She listens to me when I tell her to put away her toys and things, she helps me do laundry & clean (she actually loves it). The other day she got a hold of a permanent marker (which I should have had in a safe place of course but I guess my pregnancy brain is getting to me lol I'm 11wks prego) and she marked on my coffee table and herself. I got it off of her very easily with baby wipes but not as easy off the coffee table. But I put her in timeout for it and she was pouting and crying a little and she said "mommy can I get up? I want to help you clean the table" so I let her out and she "helped" me (you know how 3yr olds "help" lol). He said I should have ed her for writing on the coffee table. Well we were at my mom's house (where he lives) and she was playing and he came in the living room with us and started griping at all her toys everywhere. My mom & I told him that she will pick them up when we tell her to (which she does everytime we come over. We never leave my mom's a mess). He's always mean and grumpy to her anyway. He told her to pick them up in a loud mean voice, so she came to me pouting and told me he was being mean. I told him to talk to her nicely and he wouldn't. He told her she better pick up her toys or he was throwing them in the garbage. So she throws a book (a little dr. seuss book) onto the floor towards him. He started griping saying his kid will never act that bad and kept telling her to pick up her toys. I finally told her to pick them up and she did. It only took me telling her one time. I told him that she doesn't listen to him because he scares her all the time being mean to her. He said no you just need to teach her some respect! Now he doesn't have ANY kids. He has a little boy on the way due in August. I told him that shes only 3. She's not going to listen to someone who scares her. He just gets on my nerves!! Do you think I need to be harder on her? She listens to me and her daddy and her grandparents just fine... We only have to tell her things once. The only person she doesn't listen to is my brother and strangers lol. What do you think? Thanks!